Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Sa maglagot rah...

Wooohhh!!! I so miss this blog. It's like years since my last post! Geez...!

I really don't know where to start. My life had been and is still a hullabaloo ride until now. Whew! But here I am - still alive, kicking and fighting.

I really thought before that my second year as EIC would be a whole lot better than the first. I guess I was wrong then, because no load was ever lifted from my shoulders. Instead, more and more are added up every day. (hahaiz...) Honestly, I am so tired already. I am so tired squeezing up my mind to think of something good for the organization. I am so tired making up excuses for my absences from my classes (my teachers are already tired listening to my reasons.) I am so tired covering up my people's faults. I am so tired leading some people who do not want to be led, who thinks that I am belittling them when I give them instructions, and who criticize me and blame me with something that I am not even aware of doing to them. Well, I guess these things are just part of my position.

However, if only one or two people are against me and the rest of the staff still loves me, I know I wouldn't be budged. When I was able to get a very good result from the evaluation I conducted, I then guess that the problem is not with me. When everybody crowds around me while nobody goes near the two of them, I guess, this is not a matter of inefficiency as a leader, but an issue of insecurity on their part. When everybody calls me "Ate" and flashes their sweetest smiles when they see me, while they give you a "who-the-hell-are-you" kind of look or an "are-you-part-of-the-team" curious glances, then I guess, I am not to blame here.

If you think what you say really matters... C'mon...! Hija, ang kitid ng utak mo. Or are you just that insensitive that you can never feel how people here (including me, of course) despises you. Had I not been taught by my parents with respect to elders, I have long kicked you out of here. Insubordination could be more than enough reason, y'know.

And if you think that telling people stuffs about me can let you earn their sympathy. Duh, wake up! Be sure they are really that loyal to you. You might just end up regretting ever opening your stupid mouth, ever...

Oh, and don't worry... I have breeding and I was raised right. I was taught not to make "patol" with unworthy people. I prefer to stay silent and look fabulous.

Hahaiz... I'm fine, really. I am just writing here the things that I cannot say in front of people. As a head, I am obliged to deal with stupid people professionally.

Don't worry guys... You will never hear these words from me. Diri ra ni. Ako bitaw ning blog... (*wink)