Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Me and You

Is this fate or mere coincidence?
Is this for real or falsehood again?
Is this the right thing or we just don’t know what we’re doing?
Questions seem to be endless,
Uncertainties make me restless.
Should we? Should I?

May those things that we’ve gone through
Be our ultimate guide as we go
Nothing is certain, you know
But as long as there is love, we’ll make it through.
We don’t know what lies ahead,
What would become of us is uncertain
Still, amidst all these indecisions,
Only one thing matters,
That, right now, there is me and you.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Very First Shot and Pet Society Invasion

It was April 16, 2008, 9:26 pm when I had my very first time drinking something other than fit n right, softdrink, and water. Uh-huh... I had my very first sip of RH.

It was Bea who handed me a glass with a quarter full of beer, and because it was her special day, though hesitant, I still opted to take the glass. Urgh! I had to close my eyes and try not to smell the "beer-y" smell of the liquid before I drew the glass close to my mouth. I just couldn't help but grimace at its taste, and worse, at letting it flow through my system. Bea then gave me a reassuring hug, thanking me over and over because she thought it was the sweetest gesture someone like me could ever give to a friend.

My friends are considerate enough to give me just a little amount everytime they pass the glass on to me. They even marked the glass (with my name on it) to give me just enough for one gulp.

Anyway, the rest of the night was spent joking around, laughing, and picture-taking. Oh, I suddenly remember how we we woke up at around two in the morning and laughed at no particular reason at all. We just laughed and laughed until we got tired and went back to sleep, trying to fit ourselves on the couch at ARCKE. That was indeed, one heck of a night.

On the other hand, the Pylonites + the ARCKEians seem to be dominating Facebook this time. It's bye-bye time to Friendster now (uh-owh), as we found FB more fun. One of the contributing factor for this is the Pet Society craze. Whew! We're, like, back to being grade school-ers again.

Here's my cute, little Whabbie:

With Puhleez at Puhleez's place:

With Ed's Mr. Bean at his home:

With Jhet's Shoeshine:

Aren't they just adorable? I wonder if we could have a group picture with all of my friends at the society? Hmmnn...

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


Have you been in a crazy situation when you just don't seem to know if you are really happy with what's going on in your life or you are just pretending to be? When you don't know if you're doing the right thing, because you don't even know what's right or wrong in the first place? When you are not sure if the situation has changed you or you changed yourself because of the situation?

Whew! I think I just let myself get caught in this helluva situation. (*sigh)

Did I just realize how a kurg I have been? I am always seen as somebody who should be looked up on but nobody has yet seen the many flaws in me that I've been struggling to conceal. Nobody has dared to rip me open to see the very core of my existence, because I haven't even done it myself. Nobody has ever known the real me, simply because I never allow them.

I have been a great confidante, a good listener to my friends. Everybody comes and shares all their problems to me, but nobody really knows mine.

Maybe, it's just the reality. The very people who are very trusted are also the people who are never trusting.

How ironic life is...

Photo by ~shway--dude of DeviantArt...

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Holy Week Escapades...

We started it with a Palm Sunday night swimming, then a Holy Monday beach reel, and then a Holy Wednesday and Maundy Thursday "house hibernation" and photography adventure. Had it not been because of financial constraints, we could have went directly to my hometown, Mabinay, to spend the Good Friday and Black Saturday there. And so, because, I ran out of "dada" (read: money), I decided to stay home and finish reading "The Divine Secrets of the Yaya Sisterhood."

Whatta week, indeed. Well, I was just enjoying the long holiday because I need to get back to work on Monday (sigh). I've composed quite a number of blogger stuffs (including a continuation of that "walking in the dark" post), but I wasn't able to bring my little journal with me. So, I will be posting those next time.

Here are some pictures from my Holy Week escapades (I wasn't able to get some from the Tanjay adventure):

Now, I'm conserving energy again for the Summer Workshops...:-(

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

To the one I hurt so badly...

I really don't know how to start this because I know how much trouble and pain I caused you. You may think that I was able to take all these things so easily, but please believe me when I tell you that it took me all the strength left in me to say those words to you.

You were always there for me, and I thank you for that. I appreciate all the efforts you've exerted just to show me what I am to you and I thank you for the time you've spared for me.

You know all about THESE. You've always known.

I do not mean to cause you pain. I never wanted to hurt you.

At first I thought it would be so easy for me to love you, but I was wrong. I thought I would learn to let go of the past, but I was wrong. I thought I would learn to forget him and move on, but I was so wrong.

I never wanted to hurt you. But if hurting you means not being unfair to you and being honest to myself, I'd rather do it.

I am sorry. I really am.