Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Should it then?

Goodness... I am so alone tonight...

Should his antidote mount a stumbling soup?

Well, who knows?

Monday, July 19, 2010

An update, finally!

"So, how's your teaching?" She said this with a beaming smile on her face (close man kuno mi... hehe).

I almost answered, "Well, I just had my students evaluate me before going here, and like, 60% of them said that I speak too fast, 20% said that I should refrain from speaking in English because they have trouble understanding the language, 10% said that I need to be strict, 5% insisted that they like me because I'm not strict, I teach well, and I speak well; while the remaining 5% said that they like the way I look and the way I walk. Oh, by the way, how come you did not interview me? I heard you gave the other new instructors a hard time." However,I decided to just stay safe and answered with a very coy: "It's okay ma'am... I'm getting by."

And she said, "Great! So, what do we have today?" I submitted her the transcriptions and stayed for a little chit-chat with her.

Whew! It's been two months now since I started living in what they call the 'real' world. My first job was kinda not really my thing. I found every single day dreading at the thought of going to work. It's not really because I find the work so hard, but because I found the schedule inconvenient, the atmosphere not healthy, and the people not caring about each other.

I got sick after three weeks of taking calls and when I came back, I had a short talk with my supervisor. I can still remember how the talk started:

Sup: "Do you drink?"
Me: "Nope..."
Sup: "Do you smoke?"
Me: "No..."
Sup: "Do you party?"
Me: "Nope.."
Sup: "Hmmmnnn... but you do go out..."
Me: "Not at night, that is."
Sup: "Ha? So, why do you get sick?"

And I almost blurted out, "because I don't like it here!" But, I just said, "I don't know, perhaps because it is just so cold in here."

I was already at the verge of giving up and decided to go to church. I asked for a sign whether I already need to resign and find another more health - friendly job. The day right after that, I received a call from my college dean asking me to teach a few subjects. I never hesitated and accepted the offer right away. Even though I already thought that that call must have been the sign I was asking, I still continued reporting to my first job. I endured two more weeks keeping up with the two jobs that I have, until I met one of my college instructors. He couldn't believe that I am working as a call center agent. I can still remember his words: "Why do you young people go to the call center?" And I answered him with a "Duh... Because it is where you can immediately find a job." Our conversation went on until he had to say goodbye, saying that he still needs to fetch his kids and they will all watch cartoons. I was like..., "cartoons?! at that age?!" And he said, "Yes, cartoons! Don't watch real, heart-pinching shows. Watch cartoons and ENJOY YOUR LIFE!"

You know the thing in the movies when you hear the words in slow motion and the person you are talking with suddenly becomes the only thing that you see because everything else turns white? That was what happened to me during that time. I could only see my instructor with his round, almond eyes staring directly at me and everything around us is so white; and the words "ENJOY YOUR LIFE!" came to me in slow motion. I was really dumbfounded. It was like the words were meant to change me.

I hadn't fallen asleep that night. The words kept repeating on my mind. Then, I thought, how long will I be able to keep up with this lifestyle? I don't have kids to feed, anyway. Why do I have to keep two jobs? Yes, I'm young and still single. I deserve to enjoy my life at this stage. I was supposed to report for duty at three in the morning that day, but my body just won't allow me to get up. I wasn't able to sleep, and I felt like fainting when I forced myself to rise. When I woke up, I decided to quit my first job and just concentrate on teaching and the few transcription and writing rakets that I have.

Things have been going on so smoothly, so far. I teach, I write, I transcribe, and I also go to school for my masters. I am getting used to teaching and the "ma'am" thing, except when the Pylonites use it to call me.

I so miss making hard laughs. I haven't laughed hard since the last Yearbook Camp. I am also dismayed at the idea that Keeya, Biya, Jhit and Leop are like miles away from where I am. Hello? Guys? How about the get-to we've been planning since last month? Argh! (*sigh) I wish I can chill out with the Pylonites again some time. It is only them who can make me laugh so hard, unmindful of how I look. They are the coolest, and they know me well enough to discern when I need to talk and when I need to be silent.

Whoa! Too much for the drama queen! I need to get moving with my write-ups now. Whew! an update after 48 years...