Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Dear Person Concerned,

I don't know how to start with this... but here it goes...

We've been friends long enough, and I have seen you grow up. I was there when you had your first answer from love line, and I was also there when the line went dead. I didn't see you as a man yet then.

Now, things have changed. Things happened swiftly; but gradually, I found myself falling. I tried to no avail to suppress my feelings. But my heart just won't let me. I suddenly realized that all my roads are leading to you. Fate even went to such high lengths just to play this big joke on me. I found it easier to dream about you and think about you, than facing you at all.

Now, things went off hand. I know something went wrong along the way. It wasn't your fault, but I don't want to take all the blame either. You were really nice to me, but sometimes you tend to humiliate me also. And I just hate it! How can I believe you when you were so inconsistent right from the start? I know you were not also sure about your feelings for me.. it's okey. I understand somehow. It doesn't take a genius to see how impossible it is for someone like you to actually like me. It means not very likely to happen for reasons so obvious.

Now, I found myself wishing it did not happen at all. How I wish you did not start noticing me the way you did before. I wish you did not say those things you told me. I swear I could have believed you; but I also know that what i want would never happen at all. How I hope you did not strat flirting with me. It seems so real, I could've believed every touch was genuine, every gesture was meant. I shouldn't have crossed the line between friendship and "the next level". I shouldn't have allowed myself to get tied so tightly to that hope that Cupid is cooking something wonderful for us, for now I have a hard time breaking free.

Now, I want to ask something from you... just one thing please... "Can you please stop picking on me?" I don't know, but when ti comes to you, I started getting confused on what is the real thing and what is the joke. I am having a hard time acting casually when you are around. Just please start treating me like the others. i can really feel that you are keeping your distance from me. It's okey, I will not run after you anyway. But hey! Just remember that I'll be just right here. And when you feel like turning around, then you'll see me.... always ready to give out a hand.


Friday, February 15, 2008


It was like a temporary lunacy. No matter how hard I tried to conceal my emotions, the pain is so tormenting that bearing it would be the most futile thing to do. But I endured the misery.

I tried to be numb and deadened,. but never did it work. How can I continue to avoid him when someone keeps us connected? How can I not feel his presence when I am aware of even his littlest minutia? How will I learn to hate him when he is all my heart yearns?

We could have straightened things out, but I decided to leave things as they were. I am never a risk-taker. I could no longer afford to lose someone I love. Enigma, yes it was. But I would rather live with my gazillions of "what ifs", than to discern the reality that could hurt me twice as much.



"He is such a nice guy. You know, I think you really have to meet him...." Just by looking at the sparkles of her eyes, I can easily tell that she is so much in-love. She has never been in such euphoria before. His name has become the most precious word to her, that even its utterance could send her to ecstasy. What has that guy done to deserve her?

Then the time has come for me to meet the mysterious guy she has been talking about. I don't know why, but something tells me to just run and flee before it's too late. Well, what should I be afraid of? That guy will see...., If he happens to be the type who plays around with women.... I swear, I will make sure he will forever regret having been on this side of the earth.

"He's here!" , came her exciting shrill.

Why am I feeling this way? Go.... Run... Hurry...! I should not be getting nervous. Why should I? Flee.... Escape... Hide... Quick...! I should be keeping my cool.... I am not supposed to g--....

"Sis, I'd like you to meet........" I can no longer hear the rest of the words. All I am aware of was that pair of dark gray eyes staring straight at me. No! This could not be... Why is he here? Am I just dreaming? No! He is supposed to be dead in my memory. Why does he keep on coming back? But this can't be just a mistake. I looked at him, and I can tell that he is just as shocked as me.

-to be continued-