Thank you!

Before the year comes to an end, I would like to thank all of the people behind the happiness and fulfillment that 2010 has brought me. These people are the reason for all my smiles and laughter and the ones who make the year 2011 worth waiting for.

My Dear Ma’am Beth,

You just do not know how you have touched my life. Moments spent with you are never boring and dull. You seem to have the energy of a 13 year old, the vivacity of a 16 year old, and the firmness and decisiveness of a 30 year old. I really envy your carefree attitude. With you, I learned to face each day with a smile, to fight when needed, to see the positive in all the bad situations, and to get up gracefully after every fall. Thank you Mama Beth. Sa 2011 na pod…


Sisterette Leop,

Go for it! Wa’g mo ng pakawalan. Ahahahaha…
Thank you for the friendship, the laughter, the okray moments, the bond, and everything in between. You have been a great friend and a loving sister. Stay there, ok? I love you!


Ex-Cousin Jhet,

Ahahahaha… Oo, ex-cousin na lang kita. Ay, hindi nga pala tayo naging official cousins. Ahahaha… Anyway, thanks for making the year more colorful. Thanks for making me the Dark Blue Ranger. Ahahaha… I love you! Sa 2011 ulit ha…


Ate Keeya,

You may not be aware of it, but your presence causes quite a stir (…in a good way…). You make our get-togethers happier and livelier. Thank you for sparing time for me, for us. I love you Ate Keeya!


Jerry my love,

Thank you Jerrygurl for always supporting me. Even when you are not really the type who sugarcoats your words, still I know that you do not say things that would hurt me. Know that I'm always here when you need me. I love you!


The Bestest Beagurl,

I am happy that you have finally found your happiness in him (again… ahahaha). Thank you Beagurl. I cannot mention all of the things that you have done for me; but there is one thing I thank you most for, and that is listening to my rants, my complains, my nonsense, and everything that I have to say. I love you Beagurl… more than you know, really.


Dr. Ocho,

Ahahaha… I know wala kay FB. Ahahaha… But still I would like to say ‘thank you so much’ for giving me the opportunity of a lifetime, the greatest chance that I could possibly have. Thank you for believing in me and what I can do. I owe everything to you. I also would like to thank you for treating me as your real daughter. You just do not know how my heart leaps everytime you refer to me as “my daughter”. Thank you Ma’am, and I look forward to more years of working with you.



My Beloved Pylonites,

Yeah, like all of you. Ahahaha… Well, thank you sa mga pasaway, sa mga buutan, ug sa mga wala ray care. Ahahahaha… Let us pray for the success of all of our endeavors. Thank you for the companionship, friendship and love. Know that I care and love each one of you. Yearbook 2012 na pod!


My Everdearest Family,

You are the reason for my persistence. You are my inspiration to go on and reach for what I aim. Thank you for always standing by me. I love you.



My Argey,

Thank you for always being there for me, for making me smile when I am down, for the foot massage when I’m tired, for buying me dinner when I don’t have time, for taking beautiful pictures of me, for making friends with all of my friends, for loving my family, for lending me money when I’m broke, for introducing me to your wonderful clan, and for loving me and showing it with no reservation. Thanks for spending the 2010 with me, and I look forward to spending the 2011, the year after that, and my lifetime, with you. I love you so much.


May the year 2011 be a fruitful and prosperous year to all of us. Let us continue loving life and all that it has to offer. Happy New Year Everyone!!!

Worth it All...

Ahead is unknown... it is an enigma that will only be unveiled through time and reason. Ahead lie the answers, the truth, the key to the mystery.



And I continued to walk... with persistence... seeking for the unknown.


I went on.
I know not what I was seeking.
I lied.
It was never unknown.
Forward, I moved...


“Fight for it!” “Back off, idiot!”
Two opposing forces
Tried to steal the sanity left on me.
I told the world I backed off.
I lied.
Went on... a faster stride.


I fought. I endured. I closed my eyes.
Everybody understands.
I lied.
I hear people talk behind.
I fought. I endured.
I reaped the glory.


I fought. I’m glad I did.
The prize I got
Is precious than jewels;
Enough to complete life,
More than worth the fight.


Time brought us back...
Never allowed the world to act;
Parted...
But together we should be;
And together we will be
‘Til forever becomes a history.



Getting my hands dirty on poems again...!

Counting God's blessings....

God has been so good to me. I don't know why, but it scares me at times. I know I haven't been the most wonderful person in the world. I don't go to church, and I can't even remember the last time I was able to hear mass. I do things even if I know that it is against His teachings, and I know He is aware that there are times when I even doubt His existence. But despite all that, God continues to shower me with so much blessings.

When I graduated from high school, everything was uncertain, but He showed me the way. The day right after graduation, I was given the greatest opportunity in my life. Then, I knew, all my dreams will never be put to waste. Holy Child Hospital was then my 'knight in shining armor'. By being able to work there, I got the chance to continue with my schooling. It was a tough and challenging experience, but I never gave up. I continued counting God's blessings...

When the time came that I thought I will no longer be able to survive working at HCH and studying at the same time, God led me to another way. He gave me Pylon. God has been so wonderful in having given me the mindset of an older being. Who could have thought that a 17 - year old girl will be able to make big decisions for herself? I never gave up HCH yet until I am already sure of my luck at Pylon. And luck it is; I had been given the best 'break' in my life at Pylon, and I was able to hone my skills and continue college on my own perseverance. And then I knew, I will still be counting God's blessings...

After years of hard work, I finally earned my most coveted treasure - my college diploma. Passing the Stenographer Exam is not something that I planned. I just did what I was told to do, but God knew I will be needing it, and now I'm counting more of His blessings...

While sitting at a bench inside the church, I was asking for a sign if I should quit my tiring job. I didn't know what to do if I lost that job, but God had already been cooking something wonderful for me. He knew I will need a job to replace my first one, and He gave it to me right away. When my college dean called me and offered me a teaching position, I knew I will be counting some more of God's blessings.

When I was at the hospital to get certification of my medical condition, which I will use for resignation from my first job, I was clueless of what was about to come. The salary that I will get from teaching will never be enough for my needs and for my contribution to the family's budget. I need another source of income. I may have prayed loudly that time that God immediately heard me. Even before I got out from the hospital, I received a text from somebody who needs a part - time writer, and asked if I was available. I was awe - stricken. God answered me in a matter of minutes. He wants me to know He is always by my side, listening to my every prayers; and I continue counting His blessings.

More and more blessings keep pouring in. More jobs are opening for me. God has never really abandoned me. He knows I have gone through a lot already. He has given me the right people, who will never lead me to a different way. He continues to bless my family. He gave me a wonderful person, who loves me and supports my every endeavor. He gave me great friends. No matter how enigmatic the future may be, I will have God, and I know I will continue counting some more blessings.

Should it then?

Goodness... I am so alone tonight...

Should his antidote mount a stumbling soup?

Well, who knows?

An update, finally!

"So, how's your teaching?" She said this with a beaming smile on her face (close man kuno mi... hehe).

I almost answered, "Well, I just had my students evaluate me before going here, and like, 60% of them said that I speak too fast, 20% said that I should refrain from speaking in English because they have trouble understanding the language, 10% said that I need to be strict, 5% insisted that they like me because I'm not strict, I teach well, and I speak well; while the remaining 5% said that they like the way I look and the way I walk. Oh, by the way, how come you did not interview me? I heard you gave the other new instructors a hard time." However,I decided to just stay safe and answered with a very coy: "It's okay ma'am... I'm getting by."

And she said, "Great! So, what do we have today?" I submitted her the transcriptions and stayed for a little chit-chat with her.

Whew! It's been two months now since I started living in what they call the 'real' world. My first job was kinda not really my thing. I found every single day dreading at the thought of going to work. It's not really because I find the work so hard, but because I found the schedule inconvenient, the atmosphere not healthy, and the people not caring about each other.

I got sick after three weeks of taking calls and when I came back, I had a short talk with my supervisor. I can still remember how the talk started:

Sup: "Do you drink?"
Me: "Nope..."
Sup: "Do you smoke?"
Me: "No..."
Sup: "Do you party?"
Me: "Nope.."
Sup: "Hmmmnnn... but you do go out..."
Me: "Not at night, that is."
Sup: "Ha? So, why do you get sick?"

And I almost blurted out, "because I don't like it here!" But, I just said, "I don't know, perhaps because it is just so cold in here."

I was already at the verge of giving up and decided to go to church. I asked for a sign whether I already need to resign and find another more health - friendly job. The day right after that, I received a call from my college dean asking me to teach a few subjects. I never hesitated and accepted the offer right away. Even though I already thought that that call must have been the sign I was asking, I still continued reporting to my first job. I endured two more weeks keeping up with the two jobs that I have, until I met one of my college instructors. He couldn't believe that I am working as a call center agent. I can still remember his words: "Why do you young people go to the call center?" And I answered him with a "Duh... Because it is where you can immediately find a job." Our conversation went on until he had to say goodbye, saying that he still needs to fetch his kids and they will all watch cartoons. I was like..., "cartoons?! at that age?!" And he said, "Yes, cartoons! Don't watch real, heart-pinching shows. Watch cartoons and ENJOY YOUR LIFE!"

You know the thing in the movies when you hear the words in slow motion and the person you are talking with suddenly becomes the only thing that you see because everything else turns white? That was what happened to me during that time. I could only see my instructor with his round, almond eyes staring directly at me and everything around us is so white; and the words "ENJOY YOUR LIFE!" came to me in slow motion. I was really dumbfounded. It was like the words were meant to change me.

I hadn't fallen asleep that night. The words kept repeating on my mind. Then, I thought, how long will I be able to keep up with this lifestyle? I don't have kids to feed, anyway. Why do I have to keep two jobs? Yes, I'm young and still single. I deserve to enjoy my life at this stage. I was supposed to report for duty at three in the morning that day, but my body just won't allow me to get up. I wasn't able to sleep, and I felt like fainting when I forced myself to rise. When I woke up, I decided to quit my first job and just concentrate on teaching and the few transcription and writing rakets that I have.

Things have been going on so smoothly, so far. I teach, I write, I transcribe, and I also go to school for my masters. I am getting used to teaching and the "ma'am" thing, except when the Pylonites use it to call me.

I so miss making hard laughs. I haven't laughed hard since the last Yearbook Camp. I am also dismayed at the idea that Keeya, Biya, Jhit and Leop are like miles away from where I am. Hello? Guys? How about the get-to we've been planning since last month? Argh! (*sigh) I wish I can chill out with the Pylonites again some time. It is only them who can make me laugh so hard, unmindful of how I look. They are the coolest, and they know me well enough to discern when I need to talk and when I need to be silent.

Whoa! Too much for the drama queen! I need to get moving with my write-ups now. Whew! an update after 48 years...

...

Current feeling: sad
Current state of mind: Blank

So, how will I start? It seems that I have a lot of explaining to do. So, from where do I begin? Okay...

Classes have finally ceased. Yep, ceased permanently for me and 2800 others more. I have this mixed feelings about this. First, I am happy, very happy indeed; because finally, I will be able to say "bye, bye" to college life. But then, it dawned on me that not only will I say goodbye to school, I also need to kiss Pylon goodbye. This is what scares me. I am scared of going out to the real world (as they call it) and leaving my Pylon siblings. Am I ready? Nope, definitely not. So, where does that leave me? - to a world of question marks and exclamation points.

Honestly, I still haven't imagined life away from our little, colorful office. Yes, I had been aware that this moment will really come - when I have to make decisions for myself, when I have to become used to becoming away from people I love, when working isn't about just as fun and exciting, when an 8-hour workday becomes a routine, when bondings and laags already become an occasion. (*sigh) I guess, I have to bear with everything now.


What consoles me is the fact that I will be already on my own. Actually, independence was something I've already known since my high school graduation. However, this would be something different. I would be preparing myself for something heavier, something that's already mine. It's me against the world now or me for the world.

Ugh! I guess, being alone for a couple of days turned me into another melodramatic freak. I just hope he comes back very soon. This thing scares me and there's no one I can share this to right now (sigh)...