Sunday, August 31, 2008

On certainties and frailties....


It has been quite a while since my last post. It's because of a helluva lot of stuffs that I need to accomplish. And, well, frankly, I ran out of things to rant. Not because my life became satisfying all of a sudden, but because I got confused of which one to seethe upon.

Anywayz, I am actually in the middle of making some yearbook stuffs when I felt this need to blog. Okey, so what's the title again? Oh yup... These past few weeks, it was like I was in the middle of a hurricane. Nothing, of all those things that I did, seemed right anymore. I was confused and my brain was like not functioning at all. I have done silly stuffs. Silly, did I say? Nope, it's more than that. It was ridiculous, inane, harebrained. Ok, I know they mean the same thing, but it's totally S-T-U-P-I-D!!!!!

I am certain of some things, yet I don't know why I am still frail on stuffs related to them. I mean, come on.... Hello? Will somebody thwack this insanity right off me? Yes, it was insanity. It is indeed. And I don't want that madness to take over and dominate my life again. Shall I give you an idea? Nah..., you wouldn't believe it. I still even try to convince myself that it was just one of those nightmares that used to haunt me when I was a kid. But, ugh! Stupid reality keeps pushing its way!

I knew it! I was certain of it! And now, I am trying to be definite about it. No more turning back, Janj. No more turning to the wrong path. This is one of those things that I really have to face no matter how shameful and appalling it may be. Then I guess, I just have to cope with it. I cannot turn back the time. If only I could, I will never hesitate to do so. I will never be shilly-shally to change my ways or correct my wrongdoings. I've had enough and that should be it. No more additions to it. I have been certain but I've also been frail and stupid to let skewed things be. I am now officially putting a period to it all. And this time, by all means, it's indubitable.

4 comments:

Lance said...

share the details of what's bothering you.. we can probably help you rant it out...
cheers!
been a while... hehehe
goodluck on your pylon publication next year! =)
I heard the pylon team has improved a lot since I left NORSU..
Kodus to you guys!

Senses said...

my prayers are with you always. I'm praying that God will guide you on whatever decisions you will be making in your life. ^_^
Remember, I'm always here to back you up. :)

Janjie said...

Gee... Tnx Lance... It's actually kinda hard ranting it all out in the net. I mean, sharing the details and all that... Anywayz, tnx... Quite many people also say, Pylon has made quite a reputation...

Tnx Senses... I will always remember that...

donfoxhunter said...

nyahhhh!!! ka recover ra k ana!! hehhehehe... here lng me.....