Buglasan Fever

Every year, the province of Negros Oriental holds the majestic Buglasan Festival. I didn't get the chance to fully enjoy the festivities, but, geeez, I'd slap myself if I wouldn't be able to at least see the booths, the street parade, and the grand fireworks display. Luckily, the other Pylonites shared the same sentiments with me (wink). So, we didn't miss the chance to take pictures of this annual event. I am sharing here some of our pics:

I saw this tag in divinediu's blog. Though she did not really tag me at all, I just felt like tagging myself with this... lol...

I am : outlandish (really...)

I think : of stuffs that shouldn't be thought of...

I know : that things change and nothing is really permanent (even people)

I want : a quiet and peaceful weekend alone...

I have : done the same mistake over and over again (I hate to admit this, but I still do it)

I wish : I'm stronger...

I hate : the people who also hate me

I miss : my old self

I fear : being not good enough...

I hear : my favorite song right now...("♪♪Do you ♫ have to, ♫do you have to ♪, do you have to let it linger ♪♫♫")

I smell : the heavenly aroma of morning coffee...

I crave : for pizza and ice cream... (slurp)

I search : for true happiness and answers to my questions... (well, who doesn't?)

I wonder : if I could right all my wrongs...

I regret : a lot of things. The mistakes I made and the things that I haven't had the courage to do...

I love : many people, though I can't even love myself yet...

I ache : when people don't give a damn to people who care... (ashishishi)

I was not : like this before... My life wasn't this messy... until...

I am not : my real self... I wear a lot of masks everyday...

I cry : when I'm angry and so down...

I believe : that everything is possible... The impossible just takes longer...

I dance : when I feel like dancing...

I sing : the songs that mean something to me and when I want somebody to hear what the song means...

I read : courtroom novels... Just can't resist them...

I don't always : lie... But when I do, I'm damn good at it...

I fight : to survive... (wink) when I have to protect myself and the people I love...

I write : to pour out my emotions and sentiments...

I win : when I see you bleeding (ngeks... hehe)

I lose : when I cry in front of my enemy...

I never : ♪♪really loved you anyway...♫♫ (yeah)

I always : hurt myself... Duh... (wake me up, will yah?)

I confuse : places and directions (yeah, very often...)

I listen : only to those who are worth lending my ears...

I can usually be found : in the office or in my bedroom... (I go nowhere else...)

I am scared : of a lot of things that might happen, of secrets that will be revealed, and a whole lot more...

I need : real people, real friendship, real love...

I am happy : when it feels right and things are perfect...

I wake up: each day as a different person...

I sleep: thinking of my stupid mistakes and thinking of what mask might be fitting for the next day...


Thanks Divinediu... Now, I'm tagging everybody on my blogroll...

16 Ways to Manage Your Anger

Life is full of frustrating moments — here are some helpful tips from: http://www.realsimple.com/


Anger Style: Explosive
What It Looks Like: “If you leave your jacket on the floor one more time, I’m leaving you!” It may take a lot to push you over the edge, but when you get there, the earth shakes and people run for cover. It may take a lot to push you over the edge, but when you get there, the earth shakes and people run for cover.

Why You Might Do It: If you were never taught how to deal with irritation, you may habitually swallow it until you can swallow no more. Eventually your top will blow. Some people are anger junkies, who get off on the adrenaline rush of an emotional explosion, not to mention the fact that the onslaught can mean they get their way — at least in the short term.

The Damage: It is virtually impossible to feel empathy and anger simultaneously, so in the heat of the moment, you are more likely to say and do overly harsh things that you later regret.

How to Turn It Around
# Wait it out. “Research has shown that the neurological anger response lasts less than two seconds,” says Ronald Potter-Efron, Ph.D., an anger-management specialist in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, and a coauthor of Letting Go of Anger (New Harbinger, $16, www.amazon.com). Beyond that, it takes a commitment to stay angry. Mentally recite the Pledge of Allegiance or count to 10 and see if the urge to explode has diminished.

# Own your emotions. A simple rephrasing of your feelings can help you feel more in control. “I’m really upset by your behavior” is much more effective and empowering than %#*&@!


Anger Style: Sarcasm
What It Looks Like: “It’s OK that you’re late. I had time to read the menu — 40 times.” You find a roundabout way of getting your digs in, with a half smile.

Why You Might Do It: You were probably raised to believe that expressing negative emotions directly isn’t OK, so you take a more indirect route. If folks get mad, it’s their fault, not yours. After all, you were just kidding. Can’t people take a joke?

The Damage: Even though couched in wit, your cutting comments can damage your relationships. Although some people insist that mockery is a form of intellectual humor, the very word sarcasm is related to the Greek word sarkazein, meaning “to tear flesh like dogs.” Ouch.

How to Turn It Around
# Give it to them straight. “Sarcasm is passive-aggressive communication,” explains counselor Carlos R. Todd. Find words to express how you feel head-on. You might explain to a tardy friend, say, after you’re seated, “I wish you would try to be on time, especially when you know we have limited time.”

# Be firm and clear. This is especially true with children, to whom a gentle “Jumping on the furniture is not acceptable” sends a much clearer message than the snarky “Don’t worry — we just happen to have $2,000 set aside for a new sofa.”

# Speak up before you get bitter. Exercising assertiveness prior to arriving at your personal breaking point can help prevent a sarcastic streak from popping out.


Anger Style: Avoidance
What It Looks Like: “I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything’s fine.” Even when there’s a fireball of rage burning in your gut, you paste on a happy face and dodge any display of irritation. This isn’t passive aggression; it’s buried aggression.

Why You Might Do It: “Women in particular are told over and over again to be nice no matter what. Get angry and you could lose your reputation, marriage, friends, or job,” says anger-management specialist Ronald Potter-Efron, Ph.D.. If you grew up in a volatile or abusive home, you may not believe anger can be controlled or expressed calmly.

The Damage: The primary function of anger is to signal that something is amiss and encourage resolution. By ignoring that warning sign, you may end up engaging in self-destructive behaviors (overeating, excessive shopping). You’re also basically giving the green light to other people’s bad behavior or denying them the opportunity to make amends. How can they apologize if they don’t know you’ve been hurt?

How to Turn It Around
# Challenge your core beliefs. Ask yourself, “Is it really fine for my employees to leave early whenever they want? For my partner to go golfing every weekend?” If you’re honest, the resounding answer to these questions is probably “You know what? It’s not fine.” Recognizing that something is wrong is the first step in setting it right.


# Step outside yourself. Imagine that a friend is the one being abused, overworked, or neglected. What would be the appropriate way for her to respond? Make a list of actions she might take, then ask yourself why it is OK for her, but not you, to react that way.


# Embrace healthy confrontation. Someone ticked you off? Tell the person — in a positive, constructive way. Yes, he or she might be surprised, possibly even (gasp!) angered, by your words. And you know what? He or she will get over it. “Avoidance often does more damage to families and friendships than any expression of anger,” says Potter-Efron.


Anger Style: Passive-Aggressive
What It Looks Like: “Oops. Did I delete all those old baseball games from the TiVo?” You don’t hide or swallow your anger, but you express it in an underhanded way.

Why You Might Do It: You dislike confrontation, but you’re no pushover, either. “People become ‘anger sneaks’ when they believe they can’t stand up to others,” says anger-management specialist Ronald Potter-Efron, Ph.D.. Some people who are cautious by nature turn to this style when they feel pushed outside their comfort zones.

The Damage: You frustrate people. Todd puts it another way: “You’re living your life around making sure other people don’t get what they want, instead of striving for what would make you happy.” The bottom line: No one wins.

How to Turn It Around
# Give yourself permission to get angry. Tell yourself that anger is your psyche’s way of saying you’re tired of being pushed around. A mantra: Assertiveness is fine; aggression (passive or otherwise) is not.


# Advocate for yourself. Instead of “forgetting” to turn in your report at work or showing up late to meetings, gather your courage and tell your boss that your workload has gotten too heavy or that you’re having an issue with a coworker. It won’t be easy, but neither is looking for another job.


# Take control. If you turn to passive aggression when you’re uncomfortable with what’s expected of you, it’s important to do something to take the reins of your situation. Unable to manage the house or the finances solo? Rather than doing a haphazard job of it (subconsciously, of course), tell your partner how important it is that he contributes.


Anger Style: Self-Abuse
What It Looks Like: “It’s my fault he cheated on me. I’m a terrible wife.” You find a way to make everything your fault, every single time.

Why You Might Do It: Somewhere along the line, your self-esteem took a beating and you decided that sometimes it’s just safer and easier to be mad at yourself than at someone else.

The Damage: Constantly turning angry feelings inward can set you up for continued disappointments and even depression.

How to Turn It Around
# Question yourself. Every time you feel the urge to assume blame, start by asking yourself, “Who told me I was responsible for this?” Then ask, “Do I really believe that?” Instead of accepting all responsibility, thank yourself for recognizing the pattern in the first place.


# Work on your self-worth. Make a list of your positive qualities. Developing a genuine sense of worthiness is a critical step in overcoming self-blame. Seek out a professional if you need more help in working around this issue.


Anger Style: Habitual Irritation
What It Looks Like: “I am sick and tired of you borrowing my stapler! Get your own!” This is often less a reaction to events and more a default option. It’s always on unless you consciously turn it off.

Why You Might Do It: If your discontent dwells directly below the surface and is constantly seeping through, there’s probably resentment, regret, or frustration boiling beneath. Maybe your coworker got the promotion and you didn’t. Or your marriage is falling apart and you’re not sure why.

The Damage: If you’re always ready to blow, friends, family, and coworkers may take great pains to avoid upsetting you. Or they may avoid you altogether. The most likely result? No progress — you stay stuck in the same vicious cycle.

How to Turn It Around
# Get to the heart of it. What are you really mad about? If you dig deep, you’ll realize it probably isn’t about a stapler — or dirty socks on the floor, or an empty milk carton in the refrigerator, or any of the other small things that make you so frustrated. Consider professional intervention if you can’t get to the bottom of it on your own.


# Tune in to anger clues. Become aware of the actions and feelings associated with your irritation. When you’re enraged, do you ball your hands into fists? Pace around the room? Grumble, swear, or grit your teeth? As you identify and experience each physiological response, make a mindful effort to do something — anything — else.


# Visualize peace. Try this technique to stop rising anger before it overtakes you. Imagine your breath as a wave, a surge of color, or even a breeze. Watch it come in and out; optimally each breath will be deep and quiet. Hear yourself speaking calmly and softly to yourself and to others. Your anger reflex should diminish another degree each time you do this imaging.

••••••••

“Anger is only a natural reaction; one of the mind's ways of reacting to things that it perceives to be wrong. While anger can sometimes lead people to do shocking things,it can also be an instinct to show people that something isn't right.”

I know I've been harsh on that last post I made. I know it affected some people and caused them pain. I know my limitations, and as far as I know, I haven't exceeded (if you may call it that) them. I know how others would react to it, and that is what I wanted. I know it would affect them, but through it they'll know that I'm serious and I want to get down to business now.

I've been keeping it all inside. And when I made that post, it's as if all the bitterness and rage that I've been keeping inside found a leak and took advantage. Maybe I haven't thought it much. If you only saw me when I made that post, maybe you'll understand. If the words I used caused you so much pain and humiliation, I'm sorry, but you know what anger can cause. At least now, we're even. Again, Im sorry. I don't get angry often, but when it reaches the edge already, I become a different person.

I'm not being self-righteous or something. As far as I know, I did everything and I haven't failed in any of our agreements (remind me if I have; I just can't remember). You can't blame me for acting like this. Right now, I just want you to bear with me. It's really not easy for me, considering that I'm dealing with everything here. And this is one of those problems that I should deal alone. It's quite ironic how I give you a hard time just to protect you from shame that would then be caused when the right persons (I hope you know who I mean by this) know it.

Nobody else knows how I feel right now, nobody else can understand this. And you know very well that I can't say stuffs directly to you, so forgive me if I do it this way. This may look like very immature, but you know that this is just my only outlet of pouring out my emotions. You understand me, don't you?

Whoa! So much for that! I know, this will just be settled sooner or later. I now believe in what they say that when something bad happens, there is always a good thing that comes next. And so here comes the good thing! Our new buddies are finally here. We're quite awestruck, you know (*wink).







see the difference?

On friendship and duties... (To whom it may concern)

I am fuming and seething right now! I really want to wreck the necks (sorry for the phrase) of some people!!!

I don't know until how long will I be able to bear the headaches that they have been causing me. It's just so enraging knowing that they are just laughing and talking ill stuffs about me while I am already on the point where I wanna throw stuffs here! The nerve! I don't know how they still get so nervy as to not standing on their words. Is it because they just treat me as somebody whom they can easily fool? Is it because they just consider me as the frail and flimsy person whom they can easily dupe?

I've been through enough of them already. Now, I know that you can never trust the same people forever. Oftentimes, they let you trust them for some selfish, shrewdly calculated, cerebral reason. Now, I learned to put a gap between friendship and duties. There should always be that huge barricade between the two, especially when it concerns stuffs that could affect so many people and could even ruin a reputation.

They just don't know how I sacrificed a lot of things for this. I now feel so frustrated. Just can't help it. Things did not go on as I expected and as I wanted. And worst, the very people that I expected to stand by me throughout seems to turn their backs on me. The people who convinced me to accept this very big responsibility and promised me that they will just be there whenever I need help, now seems to be the people who caused me this much misery.

I've been very understanding, kind and considerate to them ever since. I can see no reason at all for them to fail and betray me like this. I gave them every favor that I could give yet they seem so ungrateful. I don't wanna sound so bitter here, but they made me like this.

I know that some of them no longer have that "fire" for the organization because they now have a much better one. They sometimes make us as a scapegoat or something. Some of them, takes advantage while some plays safe when in front of me.

I am really angry right now. No matter how many "sorry's" they say can never ease what I'm feeling. I just can't say things right in front of their faces and I just hate myself for being like this. I am always concerned about how others will feel. I just wish I could shout insanities in their faces. I just wish I could show them how angry I am without crying in front of them like I do now.

I don't know how long will I be able to take this. I just wish for more courage to do the things that I need to do and continue what I've started. And as for them? Well, they're old enough to know stuffs. And I know they are not that insensitive to not feel what I wanted them to feel. I hope they'll realize that we are still important to them (for profitable reasons, of course). That no matter how "low" I may be to them, I still have the power to decide on things that might be important to them soon.

Coping up...

It's becoming super busy lately... We are already on the "full-blast mode" (as we call it). This is the time when we have to spend sleepless nights in the office to make the dummy of the yearbook and lay-out the pages.

I haven't gone home yet and it's already lunch time. My days now start at 8 am and ends at 3 am. I just go home to take a bath and change (our house now serves as a bathroom to me...lol)

Whoa! There are so many things to do yet so little time to do all of them. Aside from taking charge in the dummy-making, I also have to supervise and help in the lay-outing. Plus, I got to do the dealings for the yearbook ads, provide meals for the "frogs" (the pipz here), edit the articles, follow-up some other stuffs, and a whole lot more... (h-e-l-p!!!)

My mom now complains that I no longer go home. I haven't seen my ate and my dad for like how many weeks already because when I go home (to take a bath and all) they are out for work... (sigh) How I miss them!

Anyway, we got some new stuffs 'round here in the office (*wink). Our new PC's, camera lens and flash just arrived (yipee!!) I'll blog about it next time, and maybe I can share some pics with them. Whoa! A little leap again. Thanks to our Big Dad... Now, we have new "powerful" buddies...

T..T for now!

Pylon IPR '08

whew! finally, we were able to find time to relax and unwind. We just had a two-day IPR and it was super fun! Here are some of the pics we took during that activity.

Got to deal with a lot of Sanguines!!!

We just had our first-ever Pylon IPR last weekend. It was so F-U-N!!! Though it was exhausting,still all our efforts are paid off. One of the activities we had there was knowing our personality profile through taking a test. The test revealed that I am a Perfect Melancholic type. Here is the result of the test:

Your personality is Melancholy Phlegmatic.
Melancholy Strength:9 Weakness:14
57%
Phlegmatic Strength:7 Weakness:4
28%
Sanguine Strength:4 Weakness:1
13%
Choleric Strength:0 Weakness:1
3%

Actually, it's really not a question. All the descriptions there of a melancholic individual pertains to me. Geez..., and I got to deal with a lot of Popular Sanguines (Oh goodness gracious... help!!!)! According to the profile, melancholics are always contrary to sanguines. Here are the characteristics of both personality types:

Melancholic
(The Introvert/The Thinker/The Pessimist)

Strengths:

The Melancholy's Emotions

* Deep and thoughtfully
* Analytical
* Serious and purposeful
* Genius prone
* Talented and creative
* Artistic or musical
* Philosophical and poetic
* appreciative of beauty
* Sensitive to others
* Self-sacrificing
* Conscientious
* Idealistic

The Melancholy At Work

* Schedule oriented
* Perfectionist, high standards
* Detail conscious
* Persistent and thorough
* Orderly and organized
* Neat and tidy
* Economical
* Sees the problems
* Finds creative solutions
* Needs to finish what he starts
* Likes charts, graphs, figures, lists

The Melancholy As a Friend

* Makes friends cautiously
* Content to stay in background
* Avoids causing attention
* Faithful and devoted
* Will listen to complaints
* Can solve other's problems
* Deep concern for other people
* Moved to tears with compassion
* Seeks ideal mate


Weaknesses:

The Melancholy's Emotions

* Remembers the negatives
* Moody and depressed
* Enjoys being hurt
* Has false humility
* Off in another world
* Low self-image
* Has selective hearing
* Self-centered
* Too introspective
* Guilt feelings
* Persecution complex
* Tends to hypochondria

The Melancholy At Work

* Not people oriented
* depressed over imperfections
* Chooses difficult work
* Hesitant to start projects
* Spends to much time planning
* Prefers analysis to work
* Self-deprecating
* Hard to please
* Standards often to high
* Deep need for approval

The Melancholy As a Friend

* Lives through others
* Insecure socially
* Withdrawn and remote
* critical of others
* Holds back affections
* Dislikes those in opposition
* Suspicious of people
* Antagonistic and vengeful
* Unforgiving
* Full of contradictions
* Skeptical of compliments

Sanguine
The Extrovert/The Talker/The Optimist

Strengths

The Sanguine's Emotions

* Appealing personality
* Talkative, Storyteller
* Life of the Party
* Good sense of humor
* Memory for color
* Physically holds on to listener
* Emotional and demonstrative
* Enthusiastic and expressive
* Cheerful and bubbling over
* Curious
* Good on stage
* Wide-eyed and innocent
* Lives in the present
* Changeable disposition
* Sincere at heart
* Always a child

The Sanguine At Work

* Volunteers for Jobs
* thinks up new activities
* Looks great on the Surface
* Creative and colorful
* Has energy and enthusiasm
* Starts in a flashy way
* Inspires others to join
* charms others to work

The Sanguine As a Friend

* Makes friends easily
* Loves People
* Thrives on compliments
* Seems exciting
* envied by others
* Doesn't hold grudges
* apologizes quickly
* Prevents dull moments
* Likes spontaneous activities

Weaknesses:

The Sanguine's Emotions

* Compulsive talker
* Exaggerates and elaborates
* Dwells on trivia
* Can't remember names
* Scares others off
* Too happy for some
* Has restless energy
* Egotistical
* Blusters and complains
* Naive, gets taken in
* Has loud voice and laugh
* Controlled by circumstances
* Gets angry easily
* Seems phony to some
* Never Grows Up

The Sanguine At Work

* Would rather talk
* forgets obligations
* Doesn't follow through
* Confidence fades fast
* Undisciplined
* Priorities out of order
* Decides by feelings
* Easily distracted
* Wastes time talking

The Sanguine As a Friend

* Hates to be alone
* Needs to be center stage
* Wants to be popular
* Looks for credit
* dominates conversations
* Interrupts and doesn't listen
* answers for others
* Fickle and forgetful
* Makes excuses
* Repeats stories

Comparing the two personality types, melancholics are really the total opposite of sanguines. We found out, however, that most of my members are sanguines. So, now, I'm expecting worse things to come... Oh, and by the way, I'm like the third one in this picture. I am the indecisive, confused person...