Friday, January 18, 2008


"Don't worry, I'll be only gone for a while.... And when I come back, nothing in the world could ever separate us again...."

I believed him..... But those words unexpectedly turned out to be the most romantic irony......

We had the most promising and ideal romance every girl dreams of having. He is such a Romeo, and I feel like being a Juliet everytime that I am with him. But fate has done the most adversarial thing to set us apart. While he was away, he met a very tragic mishap. How I wanted to be with him during that trying predicament! But I was left with no choice but to wait in agony.

Suddenly, all his memories vanished in a snap. Everything happened so fast-- and the last thing I knew is that, that very moment is the end of it all. If only I was with him during that maudlin moment, this could not have happened.

Then I realized that I am no longer a part of his life. Gone are the moments we had... gone are the promises... gone is the man I truly loved..... It was very hard to bear. I had a very hard time adjusting... I thought I could never recover from this tormenting feeling, because I never thought of living life without him. But in time..., I came to realize that no matter what I'll do, I could never have him again.

I thought that realization would be the end of my anguish, but it turned out to be just the beginning of yet another doom in my life.....

-to be continued-

Tuesday, January 15, 2008


"And then he asked me to marry him!" I've never seen her so happy before. I guess I did the right thing after all.

"H-he did? O-oh....." That was such a hard blow on the stomach.

"Hey sis..! Are you alright....? Are you not happy for me...?"

"H-huh...? Yeah..., of course, I am!" I tried hard to conceal the pain that the news brought.
"Know what? I think you'll be the prettiest bride on earth," I said and meant it.

After kissing her goodbye, I sprinted out of the room with tears in my eyes. I tried to hold them back, but I could no longer bear the pain.

I tried to reminisce the memories that I shared with him, and each scene brings back the sparkles and bliss that now are like knives tormenting my whole body.

As the rain continues to pour down, this vexing pain continues to torture me. How could he do this to me? How could he have made those promises? Why her? Of all the people on earth, why did he choose to love her?

-to be continued-


There is a heavy downpour of rain outside; thunder come rolling like an angry monster; and lightning clashes like a bolt. The strom has come in time of my despondency, as if sharing with my agony. As I hear the heavy raindrops o the roof, I can't help but think of our conversation earlier.

"He said he's so in-love with me... Oh..., I just didn't know what to say!" she said this dreamily, and I almost cried. How could he say that to her? I thought those words are only for me?

""Well, I think he really meant it," I said. And I thought-- did he also mean it when he said it to me?

"I think he did! Oh.., I'm the luckiest woman on earth!".... And I am the most unfortunate....

Several questions came flooding out of my mind. Many 'what-ifs" kept on bugging me. What if I just fought for how I feel? What if he still loves me? But I can never turn back the time. I've been such a coward, and now, I'm suffering the consequences. But what else can I do? Which love am I going to choose and which love am I going to give up? That I feel for this dear girl, or that I have with that man, which can surely hurt this girl. I am too scared to risk and so I chose to do what I think is right?

"....... and then we went to his parents' house and..... hey..., are you listening.....?"

"Y-yeah... of course... I-I'm just not feeling well, I guess...," I lied.

And then I thought..., how many times do I still have to lie?

-to be continued-

Monday, January 14, 2008


I always grumble on things (my friends can attest to that). I'm such a "fretter" and I think I am a very good one. When I don't like the food being served, or the way a thing is done, or the lesson being discussed; I fuss and never hesitate to complain. I often compare myself with others; and when I see that somebody have something that I don't have, my "green eyes" then start to function.

One day, my mother asked me to accompany her to her hometown, a semi-remote area in the neighboring island. It was a not very civilized town and people there still have to walk 3-4 kilometers just to reach the nearest school. I met there girls my age and they seem awed by the way I dress up or eat. It's also very saddening that only a few of them are able to go to school. The others are either married already or helping their parents in their farms. I also saw there little children carrying big gallons of water walking on the rocky, steep road. Those children should have been in school, learning things. Instead, they become laborers at a very young age.

Those very disheartening things that I witnessed really made me ponder. Why should I not be contented with what I have when some people don't even know that those things exist? Why should I complain about our lessons when those children there don't even have the chance to study? Well, I should not be grumbling on little things. I must instead be thankful because after all, I am a lot luckier.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

A Stupe on Her Gaffes

This is my first blog this year....!
Well..., I had a lot of fun during our New Year's Day celebration. I sang and danced to drive the evil spirits away. I just hope I succeeded on that. I guess, there are really a lot of them lurking within my body last year that they were able to make me do a lot of malevolent and nasty things. Now, I can hardly imagine what came into my wits that I had let them control my life.... (whoa..! Was that harsh?)
Ahm.., okey..., let me give you an idea of how stupid I had been. Well..., I have done the most horrible thing on earth! And..., not only did I do it once.... Can you believe it? I made the same mistake twice. Okey..., probably it isn't the most horrifying thing in the planet, but for me it was! I don't even want to think about it, because everytime I do, I feel mortified with myself. Now, I always ask myself what came into me that I let two perverts fool me... Whoa..., maybe I was just being a real stupe! Poor me... tsk.. tsk... tsk...
Anyways..., I will now pay no heed to all those silliness that I now regret. I consider those ERASED already. I will start the year right and forget about the mistakes that once ruled over my sanity. And those two perverts...? Hmmm...., let me think of what I'm going to do about them..., As for now, let me continue living my renewed life...