Boongga!

Oh! so I have a blog pala... (*wink) Guess, I totally forgot about this (*sigh). Things hadn't really been easy for me. I had so many things to attend to. The previous months had been a whole lot busier than I thought. I had the production of the hardbound yearbook to focus on, my classes aren't that easy to handle either, my on-the-job-training has started and I need to complete 200 hours of duty for me to graduate this March, I had IPRs, team-building activities, and parties to organize for Pylon, plus this little raket raket stuffs which consumed my remaining available time. Whew! Imagine that? And mind you, I still was able to spend time with my loved ones.

Three more months, and my life would undergo a total restructuring. A change in everything is something that I still cannot accept right now. For now, my whole time and attention is focused on the present.

There had been a lot of changes in my life this year. Good thing, the yearbook production didn't give me a lot of headaches and heartaches this year. Well, thanks to my staff who made things easier for me, this year. I guess, the biggest contributing factor of my despair, agony and sadness last year was the people themselves. Yep, sad to say that. It wasn't that I never had any idea of the yearbook-making process, it wasn't that I did not know how to lead at first, it wasn't that I did not know anything about the bidding, the papers, the printing stuffs... The right people could have helped me on that, I could have managed those things with everybody's help and cooperation. Well, I don't really want to elaborate on that. We were able to produce the yearbook with positive feedback from everybody anyway. All in all, I can confidently say that my staff this year is way too easier to handle than that of last year's. Boongga!

Hmmn... My recap for my 2009 would be for another post na lang... I have a raket stuff to finish now, and I'm also waiting for a call para sa isa pang raket (*laughs). Boongga, di ba?

Oh, by the way, Merry Christmas to everybody! My christmas is a bit different this year. My 24th is spent shopping with Bea (Char! shopping daw...) Shopping goods for the workaholic people of Pylon, who spent the holidays doing their tasks (*bason naa tay bonus ani, guys.. hehe...) Okey, back to my christmas. Did I say it's a bit different? Yep. I went to church with my family and ate noche buena with them, but at around one o'clock in the morning, I had to transfer to another house and spend the remaining hours with Jheck and eat another set of noche buena with him. (mao ra toy naka different. bow!)

A few more days, and classes will start once again. Ugh! I just remembered... that the first day of classes for 2010 is also my birthday. Whew! I will be turning a year older. I hope twenty-one isn't that old yet because I don't really feel like becoming older (awh?). Still, I have my classes to attend to, my duty hours at DBP isn't even halfway the required hours yet, and the interactive yearbook making continues. More busy days are yet to come.

For now, I am really hoping that we could go to our planned trip to Siquijor tomorrow. I need to unwind, rejuvenate, restore my lost energy, and give my mind a break for a while.

Happy New Year, everyone. I wish everybody love, joy and world peace. We can do this, people! We can always hurdle everything and continue with life's race. I hope everybody will have a joyous 2010.

Here are some random pictures of my 2009.

Sa maglagot rah...

Wooohhh!!! I so miss this blog. It's like years since my last post! Geez...!

I really don't know where to start. My life had been and is still a hullabaloo ride until now. Whew! But here I am - still alive, kicking and fighting.

I really thought before that my second year as EIC would be a whole lot better than the first. I guess I was wrong then, because no load was ever lifted from my shoulders. Instead, more and more are added up every day. (hahaiz...) Honestly, I am so tired already. I am so tired squeezing up my mind to think of something good for the organization. I am so tired making up excuses for my absences from my classes (my teachers are already tired listening to my reasons.) I am so tired covering up my people's faults. I am so tired leading some people who do not want to be led, who thinks that I am belittling them when I give them instructions, and who criticize me and blame me with something that I am not even aware of doing to them. Well, I guess these things are just part of my position.

However, if only one or two people are against me and the rest of the staff still loves me, I know I wouldn't be budged. When I was able to get a very good result from the evaluation I conducted, I then guess that the problem is not with me. When everybody crowds around me while nobody goes near the two of them, I guess, this is not a matter of inefficiency as a leader, but an issue of insecurity on their part. When everybody calls me "Ate" and flashes their sweetest smiles when they see me, while they give you a "who-the-hell-are-you" kind of look or an "are-you-part-of-the-team" curious glances, then I guess, I am not to blame here.

If you think what you say really matters... C'mon...! Hija, ang kitid ng utak mo. Or are you just that insensitive that you can never feel how people here (including me, of course) despises you. Had I not been taught by my parents with respect to elders, I have long kicked you out of here. Insubordination could be more than enough reason, y'know.

And if you think that telling people stuffs about me can let you earn their sympathy. Duh, wake up! Be sure they are really that loyal to you. You might just end up regretting ever opening your stupid mouth, ever...

Oh, and don't worry... I have breeding and I was raised right. I was taught not to make "patol" with unworthy people. I prefer to stay silent and look fabulous.

Hahaiz... I'm fine, really. I am just writing here the things that I cannot say in front of people. As a head, I am obliged to deal with stupid people professionally.

Don't worry guys... You will never hear these words from me. Diri ra ni. Ako bitaw ning blog... (*wink)

...

The earth seems to revolve and rotate so swiftly. Its fleeting motion causes a gazillion things to happen in a blink of an eye... And before we know it, we are caught in a hullabaloo of episodes we once thought is never going to befall.

Yes, life is indeed unpredictable. We will never know what is about to fall right in front of our faces. No matter how we try to prepare ourselves for the expected, still we are caught off-guard by how it will take place... and most of the time, we are left wondering why it came to that point in the first place.

Still, there are so many things that we have to thank life about. And having experienced all these things now, is already a great reason for me to be grateful.

Ang Pagpangareer... (*wink)

Living my EIC/ (slash) all-around-housemaid role. Here being a photographer kuno... hehe...

Last weekend was so much fun. As our theme for this year's book is "the environment", we started taking pictures of things that would show the beauty of nature. Actually, I am not really fond of taking pictures, but when somebody introduced to me "macro photography", I got super interested on it. I found it very fun taking pictures of things that our own naked eyes cannot see. Through macro photography, I saw how a fly, a bug, a mosquito, and many other little things look like up close. I remember the first time I started macro photography, I no longer let the others take the cam from me (*wink).

Here are some of the pictures that I took last weekend...









Pangareer na jud ni... Ahaha...

The Pylonites Hymn

I composed this song once upon a time, and now, here it is... the official Pylonite hymn... (*wink) Errr..., I wrote the lyrics diay and Uzziel made the tune. The picture below is Leofhila's work (applauses for Leop... weeehhh!!!). A music video will be made soon. (Yehey!) We are really loving our environmental and 3D themes. Super loving it!




How pleasing it is to know
That I am here with you
The love and friendship that we share
Is nothing but beyond compare

The time seems to freeze
Our happiness just doesn’t cease
When we are all together
Nothing will ever matter

Chorus:
My wish is that we will never part
You will always be inside my heart
The memories that we made
Oh, it will never fade
How we are when we are together
The Pylonite joy doesn’t seem to waver
Our love for one another
Will truly make us remember

The laughter and the tears
We shared through these years
We will always remember
And in our hearts will linger

No software could ever alter
The color and brightness of our memoir
There’s more to yearbook-making, y’know
It’s the joy of being with you
(repeat chorus)

Coda:
Keep the fire burning
Keep the Pylon spirit flaming
The Pylonite joy will always linger
The Pylonite love will be forever

Pahabol sa Summer '09

Summer 2009 is so far the best summer vacation I ever had because I was able to enjoy every little second of it. Luckily, vacation is extended as classes are suspended for reasons I still do not know. The last "laag" we had is for two purposes - to wave goodbye to summertime and to Budoyski's singlehood (nyaaaahhhh....). A-huh... Our very own Budoyski is already going to tie the knot on June 12, Independence Day. On why he chose that date is still a mystery to us (pagka Budoyski jud.... Independence Day gud na magpakasal gud!)

Anywayz, here are some pics of my memorable laags with the people I dearly love.


With Bea at the Mabinay Hanging Bridge


playing Monopoly in our house in Mabinay


food tripping sa hide out


etchuz sa Baybayon


etchuz japon


samot ka etchuz


two of the people I love the most


serious talk kuno sa pool side

UG ANG MGA BINAKI WITH THE PYLONITES DURING OUR GROUP PICTORIALS

Random Yawyaw...

Warning: This is one of those pointless posts that I make whenever I badly need to update this blog. LOL



Geez..., (*sad face) my last post received a zero "yawyaw" from my avid commentators. Hu-wwhhyyy...???

Finally, it's Friday and I'm stucked here with another pointless argument with the ever-pointless Dondon (*evil grin).

Recently, I discovered a song which immediately became my favorite, and of course, Leop's also... Jhet? Wanna make this your favorite also? LOL...

Anywayz, the VP called us for a meeting. I wonder what it could be about... This just means that we are now back to serious business (*sigh).

Two more days, and classes will start again. Whoa! Am I prepared? Am I? Am I? I got no choice but to be... (*another long sigh) Fortunately, I only have nine more subjects left. Weeeehhh...!!! I really hope I can graduate. No, I have to. I ought to. This semester, I can only take four subjects. Geez... Lots'a vacant time, lots'a working time, lots'a "laag" time. LOL...

I am actually very excited to work on our theme this year. Aside from yearbook stuffs, we are also planning to do many other things for the university. As most of the yearbook staff members this year are graduating, we want to leave something good to our Alma Mater (char..!)

Anywayz, my "laag" buddies are planning another pre-classes outing this weekend to prepare us for another stressful, mind-boggling months ahead. Weee...!

In the meantime, let me sing my new favorite song.... (LOL)

♫I told you so, ♪ oh I told you so♪
♪ I told you some ♫ day you come crawling back and asking ♫ me to take you in
♫I told you so, ♫ but you had to go ♪

LOL.... =)

Biting my Own Tongue: A Realization

I was browsing through my old posts when it dawned on me how my blog posts revolved on only one subject. I just realized that most of my posts before were directed to only one subject matter.

"Trust and men are two words that don't belong in a sentence together." I can still remember how I despised this somebody when I wrote this post. I was still enraged during that time when I wrote this.

"A Stupe on Her Gaffes" was written after I repeatedly did something that I consider horrible. That was indeed a stupid mistake. To recall my words...- "I have done the most horrible thing on earth! And..., not only did I do it once.... Can you believe it? I made the same mistake twice. Okey..., probably it isn't the most horrifying thing in the planet, but for me it was! I don't even want to think about it, because everytime I do, I feel mortified with myself. Now, I always ask myself what came into me that I let two perverts fool me... Whoa..., maybe I was just being a real stupe! Poor me... tsk.. tsk... tsk..." Well, at least I realized my own stupidity (*wink)

Then came the controversial Untitled posts. It was like a series actually. "How many times do I still have to lie?" I asked on the first series. "Why did he choose to love her?", goes the drama on the second. Then, the sad realization on the final part: "But I would rather live with my gazillions of "what ifs", than to discern the reality that could hurt me twice as much."

I also wrote him a letter here. "How can I believe you when you were so inconsistent right from the start?", I was shouting then. (*sigh)

So many things have happened, that until now I cannot just think why I still favored this person, despite everything. People around me are very curious of how sudden things may have been. Well, for them, things have been sudden, but the truth is, this rooted way, way back. There came a time when things seemed okay between us, but both of us still can't handle the consequences that are about to arise, so we both decided to stop. I was able to write this poem after all those disappointments.

Maybe it was really planned to be like that. Because no matter how hard I tried to push away whatever I think should be forgotten, there and THERE would always be an incident that would keep us together. I was about to leave things behind when I wrote this post. I once wrote this: "I knew it! I was certain of it! And now, I am trying to be definite about it. No more turning back, Janj. No more turning to the wrong path. This is one of those things that I really have to face no matter how shameful and appalling it may be. Then I guess, I just have to cope with it. I cannot turn back the time. If only I could, I will never hesitate to do so. I will never be shilly-shally to change my ways or correct my wrongdoings. I've had enough and that should be it. No more additions to it. I have been certain but I've also been frail and stupid to let skewed things be. I am now officially putting a period to it all. And this time, by all means, it's indubitable."

I just laughed out loud when I read again this post. I almost forgot how I set standards and all for men. From voice to toes, hair to hands, and even scent... Then I realized, he never fits among these standards. In fact, he is the total opposite. Biting my own tongue again... (*sigh)

Never did I thought that this time would ever come. I mean, after everything...? He kept on bugging me again, and this time he is determined to win me back. Another untitled post was made, expressing my uncertainties and doubts. The "dark alley" there is actually my "going back to him". I did not know what was about to come up, but still, "With strong determination, I bravely walk to the dark alley, not knowing the danger that awaits me... not minding the admonitions that I hearken. Ahead is unknown... it is an enigma that will only be unveiled through time and reason. Ahead lie the answers, the truth, the key to the mystery."

It was like a roller coaster ride. Eventually, this thing just happened. It even caught me off-guard. I wasn't really expecting that history will just repeat itself. Everything can be traced back in this blog, after all. Other people may have been surprised, but those who are always around me knew ever since. THIS STORY WAS NEVER A SUDDEN SWIFT... ONLY HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF. Errr.... I am hoping for a different ending this time. (*wink)

"Tinuod...?"

Geezz... I guess my previous post has indeed caused a little hullabaloo in this side of the net, and well, stirred up the minds of the people concerned (err.., the people who let themselves be concerned).

I often hear some of my colleagues asking my friends, "tinuod?". And my ever-loyal buddies would just shrug and say "ambot.." or "huh? Duh,... etchuzz ra gud.." I just shake my head and laugh at all these. Whew! So, is this really the price of being famous? LOL...

Well, before anybody show to me their raised eyebrows and ask me nonsense, let me make things clear. Whatever ensued in my personal life now, happened because of a reason. And never did I break my own rule. Before I made this controversial decision, I made sure that I wouldn't be stuck in the middle of a mess (read: something has been done to make things proper- and leaving is one).

I won't elaborate on that. But, if you're curious enough, ask me and I'll decide whether you are really worth my confidence.

Whoa! I guess I've said enough. Vacation is almost over, and I am enjoying every little bit of it. This is actually my first vacation spent outside of Holy Child and hopefully, this would be my last summer vacation as a college student. I cannot believe how I've survived those summer vacations working and not hanging out with friends. That is why, I am trying to make this vacation worthwhile and truly memorable. Although I have to frequently visit the office and do my obligations, I still find time to enjoy and hang out with my buddies.

My late afternoons are scheduled, and so do my weekends. Nan! And I am planning to visit my hometown, Mabinay, or go on a trip to Siquijor before the enrollment (which marks the start of the Yearbook 2010 production) starts. How I really wish, I could go.

And for those who are still asking, "TINU-OD?". Harhar... Wag ka nah...! Wag kang jar...!

Me and You

Is this fate or mere coincidence?
Is this for real or falsehood again?
Is this the right thing or we just don’t know what we’re doing?
Questions seem to be endless,
Uncertainties make me restless.
Should we? Should I?

May those things that we’ve gone through
Be our ultimate guide as we go
Nothing is certain, you know
But as long as there is love, we’ll make it through.
We don’t know what lies ahead,
What would become of us is uncertain
Still, amidst all these indecisions,
Only one thing matters,
That, right now, there is me and you.

Very First Shot and Pet Society Invasion

It was April 16, 2008, 9:26 pm when I had my very first time drinking something other than fit n right, softdrink, and water. Uh-huh... I had my very first sip of RH.

It was Bea who handed me a glass with a quarter full of beer, and because it was her special day, though hesitant, I still opted to take the glass. Urgh! I had to close my eyes and try not to smell the "beer-y" smell of the liquid before I drew the glass close to my mouth. I just couldn't help but grimace at its taste, and worse, at letting it flow through my system. Bea then gave me a reassuring hug, thanking me over and over because she thought it was the sweetest gesture someone like me could ever give to a friend.

My friends are considerate enough to give me just a little amount everytime they pass the glass on to me. They even marked the glass (with my name on it) to give me just enough for one gulp.

Anyway, the rest of the night was spent joking around, laughing, and picture-taking. Oh, I suddenly remember how we we woke up at around two in the morning and laughed at no particular reason at all. We just laughed and laughed until we got tired and went back to sleep, trying to fit ourselves on the couch at ARCKE. That was indeed, one heck of a night.



On the other hand, the Pylonites + the ARCKEians seem to be dominating Facebook this time. It's bye-bye time to Friendster now (uh-owh), as we found FB more fun. One of the contributing factor for this is the Pet Society craze. Whew! We're, like, back to being grade school-ers again.

Here's my cute, little Whabbie:


With Puhleez at Puhleez's place:


With Ed's Mr. Bean at his home:


With Jhet's Shoeshine:


Aren't they just adorable? I wonder if we could have a group picture with all of my friends at the society? Hmmnn...

Ironies....

Have you been in a crazy situation when you just don't seem to know if you are really happy with what's going on in your life or you are just pretending to be? When you don't know if you're doing the right thing, because you don't even know what's right or wrong in the first place? When you are not sure if the situation has changed you or you changed yourself because of the situation?

Whew! I think I just let myself get caught in this helluva situation. (*sigh)

Did I just realize how a kurg I have been? I am always seen as somebody who should be looked up on but nobody has yet seen the many flaws in me that I've been struggling to conceal. Nobody has dared to rip me open to see the very core of my existence, because I haven't even done it myself. Nobody has ever known the real me, simply because I never allow them.

I have been a great confidante, a good listener to my friends. Everybody comes and shares all their problems to me, but nobody really knows mine.

Maybe, it's just the reality. The very people who are very trusted are also the people who are never trusting.

How ironic life is...

Photo by ~shway--dude of DeviantArt...

Holy Week Escapades...

We started it with a Palm Sunday night swimming, then a Holy Monday beach reel, and then a Holy Wednesday and Maundy Thursday "house hibernation" and photography adventure. Had it not been because of financial constraints, we could have went directly to my hometown, Mabinay, to spend the Good Friday and Black Saturday there. And so, because, I ran out of "dada" (read: money), I decided to stay home and finish reading "The Divine Secrets of the Yaya Sisterhood."

Whatta week, indeed. Well, I was just enjoying the long holiday because I need to get back to work on Monday (sigh). I've composed quite a number of blogger stuffs (including a continuation of that "walking in the dark" post), but I wasn't able to bring my little journal with me. So, I will be posting those next time.

Here are some pictures from my Holy Week escapades (I wasn't able to get some from the Tanjay adventure):












Now, I'm conserving energy again for the Summer Workshops...:-(